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 Posting a reply to post #2360

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2360 No.2360
How does /writ/ feel about erotic scenes? In terms of properly executing them and such?

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I feel they should be avoided at all costs unless one is writing pornography. They rarely add anything to the story.

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O hai.

I disagree. But then again, I like Strike Witches.

When I was younger and knew jack shit about sex I thought they were hot.

Now I prefer it better when they're more suggested than played through, because most authors don't do it right...

I and multiple others agree, erotica is most erotic when you let the reader connect the dots instead of driving at the scene like a freight train.

Yes that's a good example, a what point did hot genie loving and man eating vaginas aid the plot in anyway. Felt like I was reading a dang filler episode.

Though I suppose I should mention that I think completely ignoring sexuality also makes a book boring and unrealistic. I guess a middle ground is preferable like >>2378 >>2379.

Are you forgetting the whole thing with Bastet?


Actually stopped reading not long after the points I mentioned so you're going to have to enlighten me.

When I was much younger and had much less access to outlets of pornography, I loved erotic scenes. They were like in old 'toons or movies you see, where the student has a big thick book in both hands but is really reading a comic book. Except it's porn, and part of the book.
Now, I feel they're unnecessary. If you're going to put graphic erotica in, you may as well classify it as erotica with a storytelling bend (fantasy, sci-fi or what have you.)

Thread should have ended right here

Unless you are writing directly about sex do not mention it
Peoples hormones tend to make them ignore more important plot parts, which is an advantage if you are a terrible writer like >>2375

trollI love nile gay men

My memory's kind of fuzzy, but the phrase "sexual healing" is probably the best way to sum it up. Shadow probably wouldn't have been able to go on otherwise.

Regarding the "filler," I believe that the Coming to America parts were what helped really flesh the story out. They gave the reader glimpses into the strange yet familiar world that Gaiman had created and what kinds of creatures lived in it.

Art is about holding a mirror up to life, and sex is a part of life. It's not appropriate for all (or even most) stories, but to say that it has no place in literature is absurd. Going into graphic detail is usually awkward, but I believe that a good author can get around that.

Then again, I'm talking to a guy who didn't finish American Gods, so maybe our viewpoints are just too different.

There's no need to be like that, its not like the sex scenes drove me away from the story, I just didn't feel they helped it. I mean if your going to show a deeper understanding of a world to a reader why not show its back alley commerce, its political intrigue and choice of entertainment.

Granted the taxi driver scene did do that but at no point did I say "hmm a gay genie, interesting" , it was a superfluous piece of fluff. What I said "hmm so just because people believe he is suppose to be a certain way doesn't mean he is, but he does exist based on belief..."

And for the record I stopped when shadow got to that winter town, the story just lost its drive for me at that point.

Yeah, it does slow down a bit there, but I really love the book's ending. It was kind of epic, in the traditional sense.

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I'm sorry. It had to be done.

If sex scenes make you feel uncomfortable so be it. Other people might find graphic descriptions of violence uncomfortable or bible references or spiders as plot device. Yet I wouldn't say that authors have to avoid these things.

>>If sex scenes make you feel uncomfortable-
He didn't say they made him feel uncomfortable, he said they added nothing to the story.

I'm sorry. I was imagining statements. Let me correct myself.

I do not understand why sex scenes would add less to the story than any other kind of scene and I do not understand why one should shy away from writing sex scenes.

ITT, many lingering leftovers of "Sex should never be mentioned in politice society!" Puritanism.

Personally, I think literature should explore the full range of human experience, including sexuality.

Like what? Decent erotica? Well written painful erotica? Personally I think once you know what can be hot it’s easy to give a passing performance with wordplay. It’s harder to knowingly write a bad sex scene that isn’t bad because VIRGINS DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY’RE DOING but to give the right about of story to convey how much a character doesn’t like this shit at all.

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Mostly I go by the theory that if I can replace a sex scene with a "smile seductively and turn out the lights" style sentence or paragraph without the reader going "wait what just happened?" then it wasn't necessary to the story. However if the story is a romance or similar its hard to picture a sex scene not being relevant to the plot I admit.

For the love of god man pay attention, no one in this thread is saying they're against sex in literature just that it needs to have some damn relevance to the plot.

>no one in this thread is saying they're against sex in literature just that it needs to have some damn relevance to the plot.
>needs to have some damn relevance to the plot.
You could say that about every other kind of scene and would still be wrong in somebody's opinion.

That's your argument? This is literature EVERYTHING is wrong in somebodies opinion, doesn't mean stating that defaults the argument.

To all proponents: What is the point of erotic scenes? Honestly. I'd like to hear your particular takes on the matter.

Sex is a form of human interaction. Very often, human interaction is what advances the plot, drives the story, and develops characters. Granted, sex is rarely used to its full potential in this regard, and in many cases it is not necessary to go into full hardcore detail to achieve the scene's goal. However, sometimes the "feel" of the book calls for a more graphic view of the act. Perhaps the story has a very gritty theme, and going into all the awkward little details of sex helps to drive that theme home. Or perhaps the story, while not technically erotica in and of itself, has an undeniably sexy atmosphere.

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I get where you're coming from but while sex is a driving force the sex scenes don't seem that way to me. They could of done it suspended from the ceiling in fur suits for all I care, the point is that two characters had sex not what they did and how.

As for sex equals gritty, well that just leads to Frank Miller territory.

What is the point of eating scenes?

I enjoy reading about sex, thus I enjoy books with sex scenes.

I'm jumping in on this thread.

Sex is a part of life. No denying that. If the plot calls for that particular slice of life, ala: Say, Choke for instance, than there isn't a problem with it. At that point it's up to the author to take it as far as he wants, assuming that it stays in proportion to the story.

I for one don't care for HARCORE PENIS PUNCHING but if the story calls for it, so be it. It can be used to give power (forgive my choices of words here) to certain scenes, say a rough rape scene really hits it home a bit more than "and she got raped." This all depends on the author's particular style, and in theory, both can be just as successful at creating the 'mood'.

In the end it's the author's choice, and assuming they know how to write properly, it shouldn't be that much of an issue. It shouldn't take a way from the story, it should add to it, if not magnify the overall impact to the reader.

Apologies for said before, rambling, and other such hur durp. I skimmed the thread because of trolls.

I'm a proponent, but only when it's well done. By which I mean "does not read like a cheesy romance novel".

It doesn't necessarily need to be relevant to plot, but it should be relevant to characterization. I agree with the "less is more" ideal, as the literary equivalent of "THEN HE TOOK HER BETWEEN THE LEGS AND THRUST HIS MIGHTY MEAT POLE IN OUT IN OUT HELICOPTER SPIN FLOURISH AND FINISH". It doesn't add anything except possible hilarity and an awkward boner when you read the book in public places.

But sex is something that should be more openly discussed in literature, I feel, if nothing else, then for the hell of it and for trading styles. In my effort to ask myself "What Would James Bond Do?" I am constantly annoyed by his lack of sexy-time persona. Another reason it should be discussed is because it is an aspect of life, and thus makes a story more believable.

For my part, I always try to keep it tame, keep it sizzling but not hump-happy, then throw an element or two in there that would get me banned by the FCC.

I don't mind sex, as long as it's done well and doesn't occupy 99% of the book. Religion, however, AAARRRRGH! I was reading The Devil's Labyrinth by John Saul and I could barely finish it due to rage over religious stupidity. I couldn't believe the sheer retard power required to let the antagonist get away with the shit he did.

Elaborate, did someone get away with something because of religion or was it harping on about religion being pure evil/saviour of man kind etc?

As with everything, I feel that if it's important to the plot, it can be extensive and should be written completely, but if not, a side sentence is enough.

Say, a woman marries a king, but murders him on their wedding night by plunging a dagger in his breast, or the first pederastic act between a boy and his mentor.

Such scenes that either define what direction the plot is going or that have an impact in the development of a character are important to be detailed, even disturbingly so. Gratuitous sex scenes on the other hand are completely meaningless and should not be used.

The same with everything. You should write about a meal a guy is having, unless it has a meaning, for example he eats poison at the time, or there is a bizarre resemblance between his meal and current events or perhaps he is eating the flesh of his opponent whom he had murdered.

>>2450 To all proponents: What is the point of erotic scenes? Honestly.

To move the story forward by setting up or resolving conflict, which is the point of all scenes. The point of an erotic story is to sexually arouse the reader, of course, but, if you ask me, smut with a story driving it gets the reader much more involved than a random string of sex scenes.

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I still haven't had the guts to write gay porn (Guy or girl) but I love a good sexual setting. The best way to write sex is to either introduce it, and cut off. Leave it up to the readers imagination, or weave the plot into a sex scene. If for a spy novel for example, you have your busty blond west German undercover agent fucking some fat Russian general, you can always work in stealing microfilm or the like while she's beading sweat.

I think the plot should always be oven into a sex scene, even in smut -- why else have the sex scene?

When I write porn, gratuitous sex is an anathema; a sex scene for no reason is a sure sign I'm not only going to fail to turn the reader on, but I'm also guaranteeing that the reader will not be interested in plowing through the "story" to get to the sex scene.

They work in romance books. I got hard plenty of times reading the Doctor's Wife by Brian Moore but it didn't focus on them.


The "warm up" or building tension is the best I have seen in all erotic stories I have read.

Really, both the build up, the tension and how he describes it, and how it is played out in the almost last scene is good.

It get minus points for last part though, that was a big to much gay innendo.

And part 2 was bad, no tension and story telling was gone.

If you are lesbian or gay or bi or whatever your preferences are, say you want to read a lesbian erotic story and end up with furries instead, it perhaps is ok that you read stories about it, but that was not what I was looking for or want to read about and dislike heavy to read about it, but I wont condemn other people that like to read it.

Speaking of this, who was it that said in /baw/ a few months back that he was writing an xxxenophile-style erotic short?

Oh damn, that was me. I completely forgot about it.

I've got a lot on my plate right now writing-wise, but I can promise you now that that story is in my mental queue.

Just make sure you post it in /writ/, the others move too fast.

Hell, crosspost it as long as it's in /writ/ too.

Update: I finally have time to get back to the xenophilia short, and I've reworked the plot to be more lighthearted and require less exposition; I'm gonna do this Foglio style.


Another update: I'm really having fun writing this, and I'm expecting it to be my longest fapfic yet (read: over three pages). However, I'll be starting college in a few days, so it'll probably be delayed a bit further. I will be sure work on it when I have the time, though. Sorry about keeping you waiting.

To help tide you over, here's my favorite quote from the story so far: >>“All we have to do is lay low for a while and we’ll have those good-for-nothing slavers off of our tails for good! Well, technically, off of your tail and off of my perfectly-formed tailless ass.”

oh lord
i need the cont.

I still haven't gotten to the sexytimes part of the story, but if it'll make you happy I'll give you the summary.

The story, which takes place in a generic space opera setting, stars a female human adventurer who's sort of like what would happen if Jim Kirk and Han Solo had a baby (which I believe to be entirely possible). We pick up just after she escapes from another thrilling adventure, this time with a new companion in tow: a large, reptilian warrior with a surprisingly easygoing attitude. Since she's a xenophile who makes it a policy to sleep with her sidekicks, she immediately sets out to seduce him. But none of her advances seem to have any effect on his alien libido. Will she find a way to the lizardman's heart? Stay tuned!

When I finally do post it, it'll be on /pco/, but I'll post a link in this thread.

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how's progress?

Haven't been able to get anything done since I arrived on campus, but I'll try to get to it as soon as I have the time.

Aside from the intros, the sex scenes were the best parts of American Gods.

Anansi Boys > American Gods >>> Neverwhere

Any progress?

Surprisingly, yes! Don't get your hopes up for anything this month, but if I don't finish it within the year then I'll have to hand in my manhood. I have a reputation! Granted, being a slow-ass writefag is part of that reputation, but another part of it is quality product.

So how do I write a sex scene? In my story I'm having it be kind of an important part of the story, a sort of realization that aftter all the hazards and emotional wreckage and killing people and overcoming obstacles and dealing with a woman that drives him crazy both in penis and in head, he gets his reward.

Sex scenes can add to the story, but it depends on the genre and the talent of the writer in question. Say, a woman was abused and no longer enjoyed sex, but then there's a sex scene that been built up to for most of the book, and was well done. I think that that does add to the story, personally, because its showing that the woman has been helped by her partner to overcome her experiences, in one way or another. True, it could simply be implied, but I feel it would strike home the point with the reader if its a bit more blatant. Subtlety has its merits, but its lost on a lot of people.

Nice! How about an exerpt?

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Eh, I don't think so. The actual story isn't going to be very long, so I can't post anything that's both long enough to be meaningful and not a sizable chunk of the final product. Overexposure will make it lose its freshness.

You've been really patient with me, so here's a little comic I found recently that reminded me of this project as a "I haven't forgotten you" gift.

Okay, Anon, I'm going to be frank with you. I'm about to go on vacation, I can't bring my laptop for fear of theft, and I haven't written any of the sex scene yet, so it looks like 2009 will come to a close with my fapfic still unfinished. I'd set a new deadline but I've broken so many promises by now that making another one seems pointless. I did a little writing for it yesterday, but it feels as if my muse has simply abandoned this story. I'm not saying that it will never be finished, but at this point it'd be best for you to just forget about me. I'm sorry for stringing you along like this; if you want, I could post what I have, but since the story stops short of the actual smut it'd probably just seem like cocktease.

Just post it.

If you wanna write, write.

If you need to post up chapters to keep yourself writing, do that.

Alright, I'll post what I wrote, and I'll even throw in some commentary.

The starship Galaxy Girl dropped out of hyperspace as if emerging from behind an invisible horizon, leaving a ripple of entangled photons in its wake. The vessel carefully brought itself down into the planet’s massive ring, debris bouncing harmlessly off of its reinforced exterior.

The ship’s captain, Katherine “Katy” Quasar, reclined in her leather seat and swung her feet up onto the dashboard. “Let’s see the Klaxonians find us now,” she said, smugly. “All we have to do is lay low for a while and we’ll have those good-for-nothing slavers off of our tails for good! Well, technically, off of your tail and off of my perfectly-formed tailless ass.”

The creature in the copilot’s chair made a chuffing sound that probably approximated to laughter.

Katy grinned. “Aha, so you do have a sense of humor.” She turned to look at her companion. Naarius belonged to a race of reptilian humanoids known as the Candorians; their bipedal frames, covered in scaly skin, towered over the average human male by at least a foot, and their tails were over four feet long. Naarius was an exceptionally fit specimen, which was probably why he had ended up in a Klaxonian gladiator arena.

Naarius smiled toothily. “Oh, I enjoy good jokes as much as the next being. I’m just not used to your habit of making them in the middle of life-threatening situations.”

“It’s a knack,” she said, shrugging. “Wisecracking’s just my way of dealing with stress; that’s how I keep level-headed when people are trying to kill me.”

“I suppose that means that our little adventure back there wasn’t particularly out of the ordinary for you, then?” Naarius enquired.

“Oh, hell no.” she said. “I do something like that at least once a month. Sometimes it’s practically a vacation, but I’ve almost died more times than I like to think about. You wanna know my trick?”

“Please, enlighten me.”

“I am exactly as good at getting out of trouble as I am at getting into trouble,” she said proudly. “It took years of experience to get the balance just right, but I’ve finally perfected it and boy does it pay off.”

Naarius laughed again. “Well, if I am to be traveling with you, then hopefully I will learn to do the same. You are fine with me joining you, yes?”

Katy’s smile widened. “Of course! I haven’t had any company since my last copilot ran off with some spice smugglers. It was complicated.”

Naarius nodded. “I understand. Now, if you don’t mind, I will see to the weapons that I left in the airlock.”

Katy watched the reptilian walk off, his tail dragging behind him. Then she turned back to the dashboard and activated a small holo-mirror, giving herself a look over. Her hair, currently in a bob cut, was light brown with a streak of dark blonde on her right-hand side. Both colors, she thought, nicely complemented her caramel skin and hazel eyes.

She got out of her chair and stood up, her holographic reflection enlarging to full-body mode. She was a bit tall for a woman (five feet and eight inches), and her weight (one hundred and forty-five pounds) was a relatively even balance of muscle and fat. The latter was distributed generously to her bust and bottom, giving her healthy C cup breasts.

After giving herself a thorough inspection, Katy put her hands on her hips and struck a confident pose.

“Oooh yeah,” she said. “Mama’s gonna get lucky with a lizardman.”


The next time the two found themselves talking in the cockpit, Katy decided to steer the conversation to more… personal matters.

“So, are you single?” she asked.

Naarius looked confused. “Come again?”

“Are you in a romantic relationship?” she said, patiently. “Do you have a mate?”

He seemed to understand. “Oh, I see. No, I have not mated since I was abducted from my home planet, and I do not expect any of my former mates to be waiting for me. Candorians do not form long-term ‘relationships’ in the same way that some other species do; whom you mate with is more of a situational thing. Do Humans mate for life?”

“Well, traditionally, most Humans practice serial monogamy before forming a permanent bond when they think they’ve found the right person. I guess that works for some people, but it’s a little too old-fashioned for me. The longest I’ve ever stayed with a guy is five years, and it was an open relationship if you get my meaning.”

“I do. So, was he of a mindset similar to yours?”

“Oh, yeah, we got along great together. The sex was pretty fun too, especially when we managed to get a third party involved. We’d probably still be together if we didn’t have that falling out. You see, he got mad at me because I kept bringing this Awkpeelop guy back to our room, and he would leave behind these pheromones that would drive my boyfriend’s allergies crazy. It kind of escalated from there, and we decided to move on before the relationship turned toxic. We’re still on good terms, but I haven’t seen him in a while.”

Naarius’s pupils rotated slightly, the Candorian equivalent of raising one’s eyebrows. “You slept with an Awkpeelop? Unless I am mistaken, they are decidedly non-humanoid.”

Katy smiled coyly. “What can I say, I’m an open-minded girl who likes a little proboscis when I can get it.”

“So you are an adventurer, a comedienne, a polyamorist and on top of all that, a xenophile?”

“You just described me to a T.” Katy said smugly. “Though you should know that that last part isn’t particularly unusual for my species. If there’s one thing that Humans are famous for, it’s the willingness to screw any willing sapient creature. Well, that and the fact that we’re the only living species to invent the nuclear bomb before space travel, but the other bit certainly helps to smooth out our collective reputation.”

Naarius chuff-laughed softly. “No doubt, no doubt.”

“So what about your people?” Katy asked. “What do Candorians think of getting it on with creatures from other worlds?”

“My people are rather… conservative regarding such matters. Most of them aren’t fond of aliens coming to our planet, and the raids by Klaxonian slavers don’t do much to help. Luckily, Candor isn’t a very popular tourist destination, so we don’t have to worry about being invaded by settlers any time soon. The whole planet is mostly swamp, you see. It’s hard to build permanent structures.”

“You don’t seem to have a problem with other species, though.”

“My time in slavery has taught me to be more open-minded about aliens. I fought against and alongside all sorts of creatures in the arena, I joined forces with a plethora of beings when the revolution came, and now I am the companion of an extremely worldly Human. At this point, even the prospect of mating with an alien does not seem so bad; I would probably do it if the opportunity presented itself.”

Katy was tempted to say, “I’ve got your opportunity right here!” and unzip her jumpsuit, but she resisted. She had to be patient. Patient and subtle.

[WORDS WORDS WORDS. Christ, these two scenes are just two characters sitting around and talking. I should have at least added some stuff in between so it's clear that they're actually IN SPACE and not just standing in an empty room. Also, the dialog itself could have been a lot more concise.]



There was the distinct clatter of a metal object falling onto a metal surface.

“Whoops, dropped the energy cell,” Katy announced, slightly louder than she had to. “Better pick it up…”

Naarius glanced over to see the captain bend over, her buttocks jutting into the air pronouncedly. She grabbed the glowing cylinder, seemed to pause for a second in her awkward position, and righted herself.

Naarius blinked lazily and returned to his task of tightening loose bolts on the cargo bay door.

Katy, noting his disinterest, made a quiet “humph” sound.

[Okay, I'll admit it, I laughed at my own joke here. Not that it's really my joke, though.]


[At this point there would have been a few more examples of her comically trying and failing to seduce him. The scenarios turned out to be harder to imagine than I thought, so I decided to add them in later. As you can see, that never happened.]


“This is total bullshit!” Katy declared, collapsing onto her bed. “I’ve tried everything I can think of to get his attention, but nothing works!” She skulked like a spurned teenager, clutching an overstuffed pillow to her chest.

It wasn’t that Katy Quasar always got her man; there had been plenty of occasions when the object of her desires had turned out to be gay, married, a disguised assassin, a disguised robot, or some combination thereof. The problem with Naarius was that, as far as Katy could tell, he had no reason not to want her just as much as she wanted him.

“It’s not like there’s anything wrong with me; I’m Grade A mate material! I’m healthy, I’m fit, I’m mentally stable—well, aside from the whole talking-to-myself thing going on now. I’ve got street smarts, I’ve got book smarts, and…” She trailed off. “And maybe it’s time to put those book smarts to use!”

Climbing off of the bed, Katy made her way over to her room’s computer port and activated the system with a wave of her hand.

“Computer,” she enunciated, “open filename ‘Matherson Encyclopedia of Xenobiology’ and search keyword ‘Candorian.’”


[And I think I'll exclude the last page or so because it's just setup for the sex scene with no actual reward and dialog that kinda ruins the mood with its wordiness. If you want to know, she finds out that his species only enters heat in the rainy season, and so she lures him into the shower. I know for a fact that there are some animals on Earth that rely on environmental stimuli to get it on, and I enjoy involving actual biology in my sci fi.]

Looking back, I think that the whole thing could have been executed a lot better. Continued as it is, the end product would have had something like a 2:3 porn-to-not-porn ratio, which is not what you want when the story is so inherently porny. Also, I really need to work on transitions between the not-porn scenes and the porn scenes without making it seem convoluted and awkward. I probably won't finish this story, but I like the basic idea (female Solo/Kirk combo sexes it up in campy space opera setting) so much that I'll definitely revisit it when I'm feeling more confident and in the mood.

It was pretty enjoyable, too bad you didn't finish it. Then again, I love pulpy sci-fi tales and smut equally, so it wasn't that hard to reach out to me in particular.

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