A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 15th of September, is this young man's birthday. Though it was fifteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name! What will the name of this young man be?
Wayne!
Wayne it is! There is another young man that will make numerous appearances throughout this story.
What is this young man's name?
>>12711Kent.
>>12712...OH!HAH! That's clever!
The boy has cleverly been named Kent. Now that the formalities are out of the way, let's get this started!
No one was left who could remember how it had happened, how the world had fallen under darkness. At least no one who would do anything. No one who would oppose the dragons. No one who would challenge their power, or so Lance believed...
Hidden in the forests of Kanto, Professor Oak lived in a run-down tenement.An eccentric and brilliant man. Oak was a loner, a thinker, a man of ideas. Ideas forbidden in Lance's society. The society for which he worked. The society in which he lived. The society that he would set free.And so Oak worked, far into the night, when the watchful eyes of Lance’s dragons weren't upon him. He'd set his skillful hands to the task of creating Pokemon to bring about a change, to genetically alter a team to bring freedom, to create three ‘mons to save the world.Twelve years Oak worked and on a cold morning in the year 200X, Squirtle, Charmander, and Bulbasaur were born
A perfect trio, unbeatable machines, hell-bent on destroying every evil standing between man and freedom, built for one purpose, to destroy Lance's army of evil Trainers. Ready, willing, prepared to fightTHIS IS POKEMON FIRE RED: NUZLOCKE EDITION!
My name is Wayne. And for years now, the world of Pokemon Battles has been corrupted into a bloodthirsty struggle for survival. The current Champion, Lance, reigns supreme over all, simply because he has the strongest team out there. I'm quite frankly sick of it all, and I've been planning to DO something about it for a while. And today, my fifteenth birthday, I put my plan into action.
I am going to LEAVE PALLET TOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!
"The eccentric and brilliant loner in that run-down tenement?"Mom: The very same!"Well he can hold his damn horses, I've got better things to do!"
Things like escaping! What could possibly stop me now?!
Well, those could stop me I guess...Oak: You weren't really planning on leaving without saying goodbye, were you?"Uh, that was kind of the idea. You smell like oil and... I think that's blood."Oak: It is! Quickly, come with me!
Kent: Also, when am I going to meet my real parents?Oak: Shut up for five Goddamn minutes already and listen to what I have to say. It's important, and it very well may change your lives. Both of you.
Oak: I have spent the better part of 12 years genetically altering these three Pokemon, rebuilding them to be the perfect warriors."May I ask why?"Oak: Lance. You see, long ago, before you were born, Pokemon were used for carefree battles, with nothing to lose. It was fun, simple, and happy. Then Lance rose into power and changed all of that. It's time to bring back the peace, and I have chosen you two to do it. Take down Lance, establish a new world order!Kent: You mean... I get my own super-Pokemon?! Fuck yeah, bitches!"Wait, so you picked the two of us to go on your crusade? So why did you make three Pokemon?"Oak: ..."..."Oak: Because...
Oak: Just... shut up and choose your damn ball."Okay, jeeze! Touchy, touchy...">Alright, which Pokemon do I want?
>>12726Squirtle.
Oak: You want the turtle Pokemon?"Uhh... Hmm, for some reason, I get the feeling that choosing this one would be really unoriginal."
>>12727And name him Curry.
>>12727CHARMANDER
>>12730>>12731PICK THE CHARMANDER. NAME HIM CURRY. SPICY CURRY HAHA IT IS JOKE JUST PICK IT DO IT
"HOLY SHIT, THIS ONE'S ON FIRE! HAHA, YES! NOW WE'RE TALKING!"Oak: Charmander is probably the most difficult one to raise, it has quite the dangerous temper and shouldn't-"I'M TAKING THE FIRE LIZARD!"
"Oooh, we get to name 'em too?! Awesome..."
>>12734Name him Jason!
>>12736Raymond.
>>12736Marty.Then when he becomes Charizard change it to McFly.
"Haha. Curry. I am clever."
>>12738Or Stein.
"Pfft. Enjoy your lameass turtle, bitch."Kent: The fuck you say to me?
In b4 Awkward Zombie repeat.
"What, you seriously wanna do this? You're just a pussy, dude."Kent: How about I slap your shit?"How about I light up your night?"
"You ain't got shit on me."Kent: You'll know I won when your Pokemon's dead at your feet.
IF YOU LOSE THIS FIGHT, I SWEAR TO GOD, DUDE...
"Aaaaaaand I think I just won."Kent: Wha- NO, I SAID TACKLE, YOU FAT LITTLE BASTARD!
"Dude, you are fucking TERRIBLE at this shit."
Kent: Well? What are you waiting for? Finish it!"No."Kent: What?! You're showing mercy!?"Of course. BECAUSE THAT.IS HOW.I ROLL."
Kent: You're too soft, Wayne! You're just a big pussy! PUSSY!"Oh, run on home and tend to your wounded Pokemon already."Kent: Fine! I will! And mark my words, I will shadow your ass until the ends of the Earth until I have my revenge."Dude? Little gay."
"Alright, Curry. You ready to do this shit?"Curry: I was built ready."Oh hey. You talk."Curry: Duh, what kind of Pokemon LP doesn't have talking Pokemon?
"Oh sweet, a wild Pokemon! I can catch he- FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFU-"Curry: Just leave it to me, boss...(Hey, does this count as the first Pokemon in the area?)
>>12754No. That rule starts when you get the Pokeballs.
>>12755(Oh thank God)"Y'know, for all that talk about how dangerous the world has become, it's... really not all that bad out here."Curry: Nothin' but pigeons and rats as far as the eye can see."Maybe this'll be easier than I thought!"
Curry: Hell yeah, let's light some fires!"Yeah, but your performance in that battle could've used some work.Curry: Shut the fuck up!
"Our first stop! Viridian City! It's... less impressive than I thought it would be."Curry: We should stock up while we're here.
"POKEBALLS. POTIONS. ANTIDOTES. ALL OF THEM, NOOOOOWWWW!!"Clerk: Hold on a second there, Spazzy! I need you to make a delivery back in Pallet Town!"What?! Why me?!"Clerk: You're the only one who knows where it is."It's... literally.. a two minute walk SOUTH. You can't miss it."Clerk: Great! Come on back once you're finished!"Rrrrrrrrgh..."
"This is so fucking retarded..."Curry: Hey, at least I'll get more battle experience in.
"Just take your stupid package so I can get on my way already!"Oak: Oooh, I wonder what it could be! Let's find out together!"I hate you, old man..."
"Oh goodie, it's you again! How's your lameass Squirtle doing?"Kent: He's getting stronger by the second, actually."Great! Well! I'll be off now!"
"OH MY GOD, WHAT?"Curry: Calm the fuck down, boss. Lance ain't going anywhere.
Oak: This Pokedex will be helpful in cataloging all of the Pokemon in the Kanto region."Okay, how will this help me defeat Lance?"Oak: It... really won't. Look, the thing is, I had to get funding for those Pokemon from somewhere, alright? So I bullshitted around about a portable Wikipedia for Pokemon. Just... catch some and write whatever you want in there, it doesn't matter.
"You are a bad scientist."Oak: You do what you can to get money in this world. Even if it means stealing it from small children. Which you will probably end up doing.
"RIGHT! I take it all back! You're fuckin' awesome, Oak!"Kent: Don't I get any?Oak: You're still here?
"Well, Curry? Let's build an army."Curry: Gotcha. I'll... try to hold back on the poor critter.
AND OUR FIRST NEW POSSIBLE TEAMMATE IS...
PIDGEY!"Don't screw this up!"Curry: Uh. No promises.
Wayne held DOWN + B!
"YEEEEEEESSSSSS!!"
Name him Delta or Airman.
Airman joined the party!
>Level 4"GOD DAMN IT"
"Alright! Finally, back in Viridian!"Curry: Items"TO THE POKEMART!"
Spending every last cent, we can't afford to do otherwise.
>>12776Wait, what rules are we setting up for this Nuzlocke run?Just vanilla "They faint, they die permanently?"
>>12778Standard Nuzlocke rules from what I can tell. Fainting means you died, first pokemon in an area and only that pokemon, unless it's a duplicate and in that case, you can hunt for another?
>>12779(The way I'm going to play it is, if it's a duplicate, then it still counts. I'll just have two Rattatas or Pidgeys or whatever it happens to be)"Uhhh, I know how to catch Pokemon."Old Man: Nonsense! Come sit through this tutorial!
And so Wayne found himself bored to tears as an old man feebly tried to catch his own level 5 Weedle.COMING UP NEXT TIME ON FIRE RED: NUZLOCKE EDITION! VIRIDIAN FORESTThe next session will be tomorrow night at 7:00.
>>12780>>12781Old man how did you change your clothes so quickly. And why is your beard on your head now.
And we're back after a little grinding! Time to continue the adventure!
"Route 2! Who knows what brand new critters we'll find here!"Curry: Most likely more Pidgeys and Rattatas.
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUU-"DECISION TIME. ARE WE PLAYING BY THE "NO DUPLICATES" RULE OR THE "FIRST NON-DUPLICATE" RULE?
what ever rule lets you look for a different pokemon.
>>12933Then it's been decided!"YEEEEAAAAAHH! Don't knock her out, Airman!"
"Down B Down B Down B Down B..."
NAME HER.
>>12937Ramona
Mary Lue?(i don't know, i'm bad with names)
Ramona joined the party!
GRIIIIIIIIIINDIIIIIIIING
AND THEN"Eeeeeeee!"
".... :|"Curry: :|Airman: :|Ramona: :|
"Whatever, it's Viridian Forest time."Airman: Are you sure we're up for it?"Eh. I guess if we have to we'll cut and run."
"Oh God, why's he walking towards me?"
"Bring it, you little bastard!"
"OH GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"Curry: Poison Sting... Well, heh, should've seen this coming...
"THIS IS HOR-oh wait I have six Antidotes, motherfucker."
Curry: EMBEEEEEEERRR!!
"Well, that wasn't so bad, and we made a little bank doin' it!"Ramona: Where I come from, enemies burst into coins, but the principle's the same.
Airman: Hey, boss, aren't there Pikachus in this forest?"WELL I GUESS WE'LL NEVER FIND OUT NOW, WILL WE?"
"GOD. DAMN IT. RAMONA. I was gonna name her Knives..."Ramona: And that's why I did what I did.
"Alright, yeah, I need to relieve a little stress."
"Wow, that went faster than I expected!"Curry: Ember...
"The exit is RIGHT FUCKING THERE and I need to get to a new area because someone ruined my chance at getting a new teammate."Ramona: I do not apologize for my actions.
Curry: Ember..."Don't get too cocky, dude, the first Gym's Rock-Type."Curry: Emb-Wait, what?
>Route 2>Route 2>ROUTE 2"MOTHER. FUCKER."
>>12963Did you try Route 23?(I won't blame you if you save abuse for Mankey.)
>>12965>One backtrack later"Should've thought of this in the first place."
"...... You aren't a Mankey."
"Welp. A 'Mon's a 'Mon, I guess."Airman: But... But you've already GOT a Flying-Type! ;-;
NAME HIM.
>>12969Pity
>>12969Spear beak=Toucan=twocan=SolluxI dunno
Sollux: ii dont know why youre 2o offended by my pre2ence, ii am only going to a22ii2t two the be2t of my abiiliitiie2.(Side note. You never realize how many I's and S's you use until you have to replace them.)
"See, Airman? We do need him."Airman: I don't like it. I'm the Flying-Type around here. I'm a Pidgey! I'm a staple! No one uses Spearows!"Well, I will."Sollux: thank you, wayne.
Sollux: and now ii have acce22 two my viisiion-twofold.
"Alright, that little excursion was worth the walk, right guys?"Airman: Ehh...Ramona: Meh.Curry: I like him!
"Alright, gang, we're kinda up shit creek without a Mankey to deal with the first of Lance's generals. So we're going to have to do this the old-fashioned way: Excessive and boring grinding."Curry: OH HELL YES! THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!Ramona: Can't I just shoot myself instead?"NO! Damn it, the point is to NOT let you all die!"
>>12976Haha!
AND
IT
WAS
BORING.
Airman: I'll show that four-eyed bastard who's the boss here...
AND THEN THINGS GOT BETTER.
"EEEEEEEEEE!!"
"... Dude, Curry. Isn't Metal Claw a Steel-Type move?"Curry: Huh. So it is."........ Lady and gentlemen? Let's go kick some Gym ass."
>>12993Looks like for this game we'll have to*GLASSES*'Claw our way to victory.
"Me? I am dreaming the BIGGEST. I am the star. It's me."???: Glad to hear it. I'm Helpful Gym Dude, or HGD. Let me tell you, you are probably the first person to enter these halls in YEARS. That guy there, Brock, he's one of Lance's top generals. You must have balls of steel to try and challenge him."But battling him will get me closer to challenging Lance, right?"HGD: If that's your goal, then yes... But why anyone would want to challenge LANCE is beyond me. Just keep in mind, Brock won't hold back. He'll KILL your Pokemon if he has to. Just because this is a Gym-sanctioned battle doesn't mean there are rules."Gotcha. But I think we should be okay."
"But first let's deal with this chump."
".... So. Grinding after this?"Airman: Oh, that sounds good.Sollux: ii agree.Ramona: YES, JUST TAG ME OUT FOR CURRY BEFORE I DIE HERE!
"God... damn it..."Airman: You could always just... catch it..."That would be against the rules. And here in this world? We follow the rules."
The funniest part of Nuzlocke is that you will never get legendaries ever.
>>13000Technically you can get certain ones with enough repels and luck.
One short training session later..."Alright, let's do this."Sollux: are you 2ure? we can stiill go back and traiin some more..."What's it matter to you? You and Airman are sitting this one out anyway."
>>13003Shouldn't you go ahead and evolve Curry?
Brock: I'm one of Lance's first generals, sent here to Pewter to make sure his will is done. But you... you're here to try and claim the title of Champion? Are you actually attempting this challenge?"I am. What's it to ya?"Brock: Nothing, nothing. That's what the challenge is for. Although, I doubt you can even make it past me. I won't hold back. No mercy."Heh, I plan on changing that. Once I'm Champion."Brock: LET'S BATTLE!
Curry: Put me in, Coach! Put me in!"Hold on just a second, let him get his Pokemon out..."
Curry: METAL CLAAAAAAAAWWWW!!
Brock: Fine, then I'll use my On-
Curry: MEEEEEEETAAAAAAALLLL CLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!!!
Brock: :< What the fuck. No one's beaten me in TWENTY YEARS. And you did it with ONE Pokemon. What the shit, dude.
... So, assuming this is happening in the same "universe" as the rest of our LPS, WHERE THE FUCK IS NURSE? SHE BEST BE KICKING ASS SOMEWHERE IN THE AMERICA REGION.
>>13012(It's not, this is like the Days of Future Past of our LP universe)"Aaaaaaaand?"
Brock: *grumblegrumble*
Curry: Oh fuck yes, OH FUCK YES, THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!
Curry: Need a light?
Brock: It's the home of the water maiden, Misty.":D"Brock: It lies just east of the labyrinth maze known as Mt. Moon."D:"
"Amazing job, Curry. All that hard work paid off in the end! Now c'mon, let's go... tackle that stupid cave..."
"POTIONS."
"Whoa! Who are you?"Intern: I'm one of Professor Oak's interns. He sent me here to give you something."Oak can afford to pay interns?"Intern: Pay?
Zubat jokes will earn demerits for lack of creativity.
"But I liked my old shoes..."Intern: Dude? Those shoes made you look like a hipster.":O"
"Route 3! This means a new Pokemon awaits us!"Ramona: Maybe it'll be a Jigglypuff!Airman: Or a Weedle!
"Or it could just be full of Trainers."Sollux: 2o iit would 2eem...
Lass Janice: Oh, how cute! Two Pidgeys!"No. No it isn't. Airman, show her how it's done."Airman: With Gusto! Heh. Get it? Gusto?
"Oh my God they're everywhere."Curry: And they're all out for blood.
"Ramona! Attack Pattern Delta Sigma!"Ramona: What?"CODENAME: CONFUSIONSPAM."Ramona: Oh. Right away, sir. ._.
Youngster: Don't you like shorts too?"... I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response."
"Hey, stop staring at me like that. It's a little creepy."
Airman: Oh man... this suuuuucks... And blooooooows..."Hold still I've still got a bunch of Antidotes."
"Alright, there, that was easy enough."Ben: You shouldn't have done that."Huh?"Ben: You shouldn't have done that.
"I'm just gonna... go talk to this guy..."Ben: YOU'VE MET WITH A TERRIBLE FATE, HAVEN'T YOU?"SHUT UP!"
"Terrible fate my ass, I'm on a roll here."Sollux: 2tiill, iit would be 2mart not two get two exciited, you never know what miight happen.
"Oh my fuck... Look, do you not see the trail of unconscious Pokemon and children tears I leave in my wake? What makes you think you'll fare any better?!"Bug Catcher: I've got heart!"Wonderful."
"8O OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD."
Ramona: THERE. See? I AM capable of holding back. Are you happy now?"Ramona, I love you. You are the best Butterfree."
>>13055Wanda
Wanda joined the party!AND WITH THAT, OUR ADVENTURES COME TO AN END FOR TODAY. Join us next time, either tomorrow or next Wednesday! (I know, long time to wait, but that's my schedule, unfortunately.) Until then, it's time to buff Wanda up!TOBECONTINUED
ANOTHER SESSION TONIGHT AT 7:00.
>>13159Fuck, nevermind, emulator is being stupid, so I'll try again on Wednesday.
>>13170I didn't even know that it was POSSIBLE for GBA emulation to fuck up. What the hell kind of software are you using?
>>13180It was just chugging and being stupid. It might've just been my laptop in general that was the problem, the thing is old and I treat her poorly.
Awesome LP, keep it going! :D
LP might be a bit late tonight, but it's still a go!
"Oh. Oh no. No, fuck this."Wanda: What's that, darling? Something wrong?"No attacks? Nothing? God damn it, do you know how hard grinding is going to be?"Wanda: Well, I'm a pacifist by nature.">:C THE FUCK YOU ARE, LET'S GO BEAT UP SOME RATS."
*One long and arduous grinding session later*"THERE. Now you can hit things with your little nubby arm-flaps."Wanda: I don't... I'm not sure I like this!
"What? Damn it, woman, you bumped into me!"Girl: ASSAULT! ASSAULT! I AM LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DEFEND MYSELF!!"Whoa! Whoa, hold on! Let's just-"Girl: I AM LEGALLY ALLOWED TO USE LETHAL FORCE!"Oh shit."
"Ohhhhhh shit."
Wanda: Oh! I've got this! Teehee!"Uh. Alright, go ahead and sing..."Wanda: Hooray! *ahem*Let the bodies hit the floorLet the bodies hit the floorLet the bodies hit the floorLET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOOOORRR!!
"I... I guess that works. Uhh, Sollux, go... finish the job."Sollux: ii am... not 2ure ii want two.
"Oh hey, Ramona learned something!"
Harden can go fuck itself.
Ramona: I'm a butterfly, we don't do that anyway.
"Fffffffuck, this patch of grass is still in Route 3! Guess we aren't getting a new teammate here..."
OR WILL WE?!"Tell me more about this Magikarp, balding man wearing a stained wifebeater!"Shady-looking salesman: The Magikarp is the most powerful of all Water-Type Pokemon. Any Trainer would be completely retarded if they didn't have one on their team! And they're super-rare, why this is one of only five in existence!"EEEEEEEE!!"Curry: I dunno, boss, this guy doesn't look trustworthy.Airman: I think he's just got a whole bunch of them in a truck out back.Ramona: Seriously, don't do it.
DO WE BUY THE MAGIKARP?!
>>13414YES. USE HIM TO SWAT ZUBATS AWAY.
"Uhh, sir? Is it supposed to look so... stupid?"Shady-looking salesman: It's not stupid! It's just sophisticated!"Sophisticated... What do we name the little guy?"
>>13416Magikarp Salesman confirmed for The Tallest.Fuck, name him Gir.
GIR: Glub glub glub glub."I... I think I just got ripped off."
Curry: I told you. Don't you dare try to get pity out of me, I TOLD YOU what would happen."God damn it..."GIR: Honk honk.
"*siiiiiigh* Well, let's tackle Mt. Moon, I guess."
"Well that was fast."GIR: Borb."You shut up!"
NICKNAMES.
>>13422Vengeance.Or perhaps The Night. I'm CLEVER AND CREATIVE.
>>13423Anyone have a suggestion that DOESN'T have to do with Batman?
>>13424Chiroptera? Or maybe just Jim. He looks like a Jim.
"Welcome to the team, Jim!"
"Wait, what? No! Come back! Replace this stupid fish thing!"GIR: Doop.
Should we box someone for Jim, or let the team stand?
>>13428Having a Spearow AND a Pidgey seems redundant to me.
"Goodbye, Airman! See you soon maybe!"Airman: YOU'LL COME CRAWLING BACK THE SECOND SOMEONE DIES!!
"Ugh, as if the Goddamn Bats aren't enough..."Jim: Hey."Not you, Jim, you're cool."
"Haha! Show them the pain of so many previous Nuzlocke-Runners!"
"MOTHERF-"Jim: I'm beginning to think I'm not appreciated here..."
>>13433HAW HAW
"Well guys, this is pretty much it... I mean, once we go down this ladder, we've kinda passed the point of heading back to the Pokecenter every five seconds."Curry: Oh man, our first real challenge.Sollux: ii really hope ii don't diie down here.
"Siiiiigh, although one final trip couldn't hurt I guess."Jim: I appreciate it.
"Right, without any Paralyze Heals, we can't risk fighting Paras...es... Which sucks, because there's a lot of them."
Rocket Grunt: We get paid to go around killing little kids' Pokemon! It's awesome!"I'm sure it is. Can we just battle already?"
"This probably would've gone a lot BETTER if I hadn't been trying to grind 1/2 of my team at the moment!"GIR: Bloop bloop bloop.Wanda: Aw, I'm so sorry, sweetie!
"Actually, hey, if you know where I can find an exit, that'd be pretty grand."Kid: Oh hell no, I've been stuck in here for four days now.Curry: This bodes well.
*One painfully annoying battle later*"Oh hell, guys, this is not going to end well."
"But at least this'll come in handy..."
"GOD DAMN IT"
"WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING DOWN HERE ANYWAY?! GO PICK ON SOMEONE ELSE'S POKEMON!!"
Ramona's learning all sorts of fancy tricks.
>>13446FUCK. STRING SHOT.
>>13446No access to the Subspace Highway, sadly.
"Oh hey, a scientist. I wonder what this guy wants."Curry: Most likely nothing good. He's just standing there. Sure sign of someone who wants to murder us.
"What? What did I do?"Scientist: YOU WANT MY FOSSILS, DON'T YOU?"Your whats?"Scientist: DON'T LIE TO ME, I KNOW YOU DO!"I have no idea what you're talking about, dude! Calm down!"Ramona: He's not listening...Wanda: Oh dear, I think this poor man has lost his mind!Jim: It can get pretty stressful down here.
"WHOAGOD. MAN this dude's face is greasy."Miguel: SHUT UP AND FIGHT ME ALREADY! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!
"Poison-Types. Ramona? CONFUSIONSPAM."Ramona: Got it.
"Shit... It's alright, it's alright, we have Antidotes."
"Wanda, do your stuff!"Wanda: Oh, this is my favorite part! <3THOSE WHO DIED ARE JUSTIFIEDFOR WEARING THE BADGE, THEY'RE THE CHOSEN WHITESWHO JUSTIFY THOSE THAT DIEDFOR WEARING THE BADGE, THEY'RE THE CHOSEN WHITESKILLING IN THE NAME OF!!
"Share WHAT exactly?! Dude, I don't want whatever you have!"
>>13454
"WHAT FOSSILS?!"Miguel: THE THINGS BEHIND ME!"... Ohhhhhhhh..."
Helix or Dome?
DOME
DOME!
"Can I go now?"Miguel: HAHA! YOU MADE THE WRONG CHOICE! I'LL TELL LANCE ALL ABOUT THIS!Curry: I doubt this guy has ever even MET Lance..."Let's just get out of this stupid cave."
"Oh hell yeah! And none of us had to die!"Jim: A mira-AAAAAAHHH HOLY SHIT THAT'S BRIGHT!!"Oh yeah... Bat...
"And we made it to Cerulean!"Wanda: Oh my goodness! One of Lance's generals is here in this city!"Awesome. Let's take her down and get her badge. Curry, you up for it?"Curry: Isn't she a Water-Type user?".... Shit."
"BUT FIRST THINGS FIRST. Time to add a new recruit for the Route!"Sollux: fiinally a rattata. 2eem2 liike iit took forever two fiind one.
NAME HER
>>13465Many As OneAnd she shall be the hivemind of all the cranium rats.
>>13465Frisby
>>13463Plow through the Nugget Bridge and PRAY for an Oddish.
Many As One: We have come to consensus. We shall join you."You, uh... don't really get a choice in the matter."Many As One: We find it humorous that you think that. Come, release us from this box, so that we may aid you in your quest to defeat the Champion."How did you know about that?"Many As One: There is not much we do not know, Wayne.Sollux: ii liike her.Wanda: She frightens me!AND WITH A FEW NEW TEAMMATES, WE BRING THIS SESSION TO A CLOSE. BUT WE'LL BE BACK SAME TIME TOMORROW FOR MORE FIRE RED: NUZLOCKE EDITION.TOBECONTINUED.
Henceforth, Many As One will be referred to as MAO.
Many-As-One is actually something I disliked about Planescape Torment. I guess it's got something to do with not letting The Nameless One screw with the rules of the setting too much, but as I see it you can already fuck over basically EVERYONE you meet in the game anyway, so it really shouldn't matter. I mean, not The Lady of Pain is one thing, but being unable to kill The Master of Bones or a bunch of fucking RATS kind of annoys me.
>>13475Everything about The Warrens of Thought was very tacked-on and shitty really. The Dead Nations on the other hand were a fucking blast, though my favorite part of Planescape (aside from DAT FINAL SPEECH) is still getting out of the slums to the Lower and Upper Wards.
LP WILL START BETWEEN 7:30 AND 8:00 TONIGHT.
"Hey, MAO? If you're some sort of omniscient hivemind Rattata, why are you so horribly underleveled?"Many As One: We can only perceive nearly all that occurs on this planet. We are observers, not fighters. That is your task, Wayne."Fair enough. Let's get you up a few levels."
"Oh come on, where were you in Route 22 when I needed you?"
"I seriously fucking hate poison. If I ever see poison again I'm going to shank a bitch."
You're going to be shanking a lot of people then.BUT YAY I GET TO BE HERE FOR ONCE
>>13540Calling it now: MAO will be the first to die. From a burn.
"FUCK YOU, POISON. I WON'T LOSE MY RATTATA TO YOU."
Come to think of it, Pikachu probably would have been a better MAO, since Many-As-One and the Cranium Rats are fond of cast balls of lightning at you ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE BEING SWARMED BY WERE-RATS, GHOULS, AND EVERY OTHER FUCKING THING IN THOSE GODFORSAKEN CATACOMBS.
After way too long of a grinding session, this is what we're looking at. Leveling up a Magikarp is hard as balls and also stupid. But I'm determined.
>>13544(Yeah but the odds of us getting a Pikachu?)"MAO, YOU'VE LEARNED THE BEST ATTACK EVER!"Many As One: We are in agreement. All of us.
>>13546Oh I know, I'm just jabbering on about nothing.
So what's the majority opinion? Do a bit more? One more level for everyone? Or just go forward and hope for the best?
>>13548I'd say RISK IT ALL, GO FOR THE TOP. SHOW OFF HOW BIG YOUR BALLS REALLY ARE.
>>13548More levels never hurt anyone. Also you could leave Gir at the Daycare.
Curry: Alright, boss, the truth is, if we wanna take on Lance's general here, I'm gonna have to sit it out. That means you're gonna have to find a replacement."Yeah, I agree..."Many As One: We foresee Oddishes in the Route north of here."Shit... It might be our only chance."Sollux: ii say we go for it.Wanda: We'll just have to hope for the best, won't we?GIR: Garp.
>>13548Both Rattata and Magikarp evolve at level 20.Just sayin'.
"Just... ONE more level couldn't hurt."Ramona: Wow, man, I am learning moves all over the place.
Just gonna assume you wanted Tackle gone.
Aaaand finally, Smokescreen, anyone?
>>13555FUCKGROWL
>>13555Gotta say that Smokescreen is better than Growl.
"LET'S GO TAKE ON THE-What the FUCK is he doing here?"
Kent: So I'm surprised you made it this far without TRIPPING OVER YOUR OWN ASSHOLE!"Kent..."Kent: So have you killed any Pokemon yet? Have you become a MAN yet? I've killed like... a hundred by now. I'm pretty much the best ever."Shut up. Shut up and let's just do this shit."
"What? That's it?! You only have FOUR?! I've got SIX."Kent: Are you really counting the Magikarp?"... Just throw your first ball."
"CURRY! OPERATION: TROLLFACE!!"
Kent: Wh-What?!Curry: U MAD BRO?
"This... Could be a problem."
Ramona: Mmmm, then again...
"RAMAOEZ! KICK THAT SQUIRTLE WITH YOUR FACE!"
"HA! We've got this in the... bag...?"Many As One: We... cannot hold onto this container... Any longer..."MAO?"Kent: HAHAHA! I DID IT!
Sollux: YOU BA2TAAAAAAARRRRRRRRD!!!
"SOLLUX! That's enough!"Sollux: but he... he kiilled many a2 one..."I know... But we don't kill. Not here. This is what we're trying to change."Kent: Oh if you could see your face right now..."Draw your next Pokemon already."
"Is this a joke? Are you mocking us?"Kent: I felt like going easy on you is all!"Wanda. Here's your chance. Make him pay."
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(also: othar fukken called it)
Kent: Aw man, it would've been so awesome if my Rattata got to fight yours! OH WELL!Curry: Put me in, Coach. I think there's gonna be a fire.
"There. I beat you. Now get the hell out of my sight."Kent: God, you're such a fucking pussy. It's just a Pokemon, calm the fuck down already."SHE WASN'T JUST A POKEMON, SHE WAS MY FRIEND!!"Kent: Dude. Chill the hell out. Whatever, man, I'm outta here. Have fun crying or shit.
Airman: Oh hey, I'm back in! Man, what happened while I was... gone..? Why the long faces, everyone?"Let's just... keep going."
So are we saying that MAO is every Rattata and chatting away at us every time we see one, or merely some of them?
"What the hell is going on up here?"Bug Catcher: It's the Nugget Bridge Challenge! Defeat all of us and win a fabulous prize!!"... Yeah alright."
"Y'know? There are advantages to having three Flying-Types on your team."
"How many of you are there?"Girl: Five!"Are you all just little kids or what? Is this like a thing for children? Should I even be here?"Girl: Sh-Shut up and fight!
"OH! THAT'S WHAT WE'RE AFTER! Hey, Ali, if I beat you, can I have your Oddish?"(Momentary intermission while I take care of something)
If MAO is dead, does that mean ALL the Rattata are dead?
>>13582>>13575WELL... in Planescape, Many As One is just a really large colony of Cranium Rats, and the colonies are formed when large numbers gather together, with individual rats being little more than scouts. I'm pretty sure there are other, smaller ones scattered throughout the planes, though you don't see them (you don't go very many places though, most of the game takes place in Sigil).
"FINE! We'll just catch our own damn Oddish!"Airman: Well, hopefully...Curry: Let's just hope it's not something lame."Like this kid here."
"Ramona. Never leave me. Ever. You are the perfect little Anti-Poison Butterfly."Ramona: Not exactly the most elegant nickname, but I'll take it.
"ACTUALLY YES. YES I AM. Can't I just skip all this? I'm sick of fighting a bunch of little kids."Wanda: I think they're cute!"You think GIR is cute."GIR: Hork hork hork.
"I'm starting to think they use so many Poison-Types out of spite."Ramona: Eh. Good experience for me.
"GOD DAMN IT, I just wanna try to catch a fucking Oddish already!"
"THERE. THAT'S FIVE. I'M DONE. Give me the whatever!"Ethan: I would, but there's still one more challenge to go!"Wha-BULLSHIT! YOU SAID FIVE!"
"Wait, is this..."Curry: THAT'S SOLID GOLD RIGHT THERE!Sollux: oh my god. were fuckiing riich now.Airman: YES! HAHA! THIS IS AWESOME!!Mystery Man: Now for your final challenge!!"Eh-wha?"
".... I fucking hate you, Lance. I can't wait to make my fire-lizard burn your head off."
"This is so fucking annoying..."Grunt: Mwee hee hee! With my Zubat's Leech Life, I can remain at top HP without fear!"..... YOU'RE JUST DELAYING THE INEVITABLE YOU STUPID SPAZZ!!"
Grunt: How could my master plan fail? I hired all those kids to beat up whoever got in my way!"Oh my God is this seriously what I'll have to put up with the whole time?"
And for all our efforts... All our struggles... WE FIND THE FUCKING ODDISH WE NEED!
"She's beautiful... She needs a beautiful name..."
>>13595You're gonna kill it. I know you are.
>>13596Blanchett.
>>13596Hugs Time.
"Blanchett? You and I are gonna be the best of friends, I can feel it."
"GET THE FUCK OUT, AIRMAN! MAKE WAY FOR BLANCHETT!"Airman: :< Do you know what it's like to be born this way? With only the power to push others way?
":D:D:D:):|We're gonna have to fix this..."Blanchett: I'm sowwy...
>>13600Yeah, she's going to die.
>>13604I will hate you forever if she does.
AND SO THERE WAS GRINDING FOREVER.With one teammate tragically lost, Wayne presses onward in his journey, hoping soon to claim the second badge and get one step closer to confronting Lance. With new hope placed on Blanchett's nonexistent shoulders, can our brave young Trainer make it to the top? Find out next time on FIRE RED: NUZLOCKE EDITIONTOBECONTINUED.In Memoriam:Many As One (Lvl 10-Lvl 15)