I considered completely breaking away from/‘eliminating’ my Sage Freehaven identity as much as possible, scrapping my personal Tumblr (by way of deleting all the posts) to start fresh, and basically doing everything possible to disconnect from my Internet past to ‘restart’ myself at the start of 2014.

I would have become a mother this month.

i think i have pinkeye

I had sex with my brothers wife

It's been a year since I left my awful relationship with a girl who couldn't even love herself enough to regularly wash and since then I've been so disgusted by thoughts of her I've been largely unable to find women attractive and think it's shifted me from bi to gay with a fetish for crossdressing.

lol. You guys and your sad shit.

>>387989
tis part of life mang,

oh mine I've found gender identification to be insufficient to describe myself. I don't feel more towards the other just the given one doesn't fit me

IIIIIIIIIIIIDROPPED THE SCREWWWWWIN THE TUNAAAAA

my two main ways of knowing if a relationship will last are whether or not the person is into my nightwing schtick and if i want to do it man on top in the missionary position. i haven't felt like that about anyone new in a long time...
on the plus side, being open about my particular brand of nerdiness on dating websites has actually gotten me MORE hits on them. no surprise, right?

>>387998
I feel bad for you. I have a batman thing. But that's all pop culture now. I don't even feel like it's my "weird thing" like I used to.

Nightwing is way harder to pull off.

>>388004
I have an ass and curves thing,and I realized that cut me out of caring about men, too damn square and no asses

I'm not sure how yo even tell what I like and what I just put up with anymore. Everything has gone murky.

boob

I really like anchovies on my pizza

>>388017
I'm curious about anchovies, but not even sure where I could go that serves it, and I'd have to go out out of my way and get a whole pizza on my own just to try it.

I hope Tooth comes back to NYC so I can get a chance to pipe

>>388057
Put your trip back on, Moe.

>>388058
I'm not Moe

>>388058
I don't want to pipe tooth. I just want to motorboat her titties and then break down and cry while telling her about the girl I have a crush on.

I have a massive amount of racial self-loathing. I've come to the realization that it initially started as something of a bizarre defense mechanism to rationalize how I was treated and what was expected of me growing up, but it's since evolved into actual hatred and has gotten to the point that I genuinely don't think I can ever like or accept myself.

>>388051
My dad ordered an anchovy pizza once from a local Papa John's, but I understand that many place don't carry them anymore. I remember it being pretty tasty, if extremely salty.

>>388072
confirmed for dumbass who doesn't realize how anything affects him or ramifications of blahblah, i mean, really? i don't even understand what you're bitching about except that you don't like people having opinions

>>388075
It took me a minute to realize you were responding to a deleted post.

>>388078
he was bitchin bout people getting mad @ the nsa and saying they deserved to have phones tapped i mean what foo????

I'm gay for you

that weekend meant a lot to me

Anchovies on pizza are okay, I'd rather have Prosciutto

[spoilers]boob

They're still funny.

I have nothing for bronies but I feel really really bad for the actual children who are my little pony fans.

I created the OP pic & every /baw/ secrets thread except this one. The pic is edited from the one I made for /co/ prime when I did a /co/ secrets thread.

This is the background.

I don't hate black people, but after being robbed twice by them, nearly stabbed by another, and humiliated by them as high school bullies, I get uncomfortable around black men, especially if they have that specific ghetto accent. My fists clench up, I grind my teeth, and I want to start punching and screaming at them. Not like screaming nigger, just yelling GO AWAY GET OUT OF HERE. I haven't told anyone because I'm sure it's racist, and I've been able to just avoid this by only meeting black people from the suburbs or from the work my company does with Nigeria.

>>388129
Honestly, I think your reaction is justified, as long as you don't actually act upon it. I would be pretty pissed off after being robbed twice, let alone the other shit.

While I know almost nothing about you, I'm surprised you haven't adopted a totally racist attitude (you know what I mean). I am also proud of you for that. Stay frosty.

>>388130
Black people have done very good things to me too, and I try not to assume anything about anyone beyond their own actions. But I still have that fear, that any black man walking towards me is out to hurt me, and I have to attack them RIGHT NOW before they
attack me, but it's only boiling up for a second. It still makes me feel guilty.

I used to be obsessed with a kids/teens show. I spent a lot of time on the wikia and discovered /co/ through it.
On the wikia (and later /co/), I found people dirty-talking about a certain character both disgusting but hilarious (like imagine me pretending to be attracted to an ice-cream cone; I couldn't see how they could possibly be attracted to the character).

Me being aspie and lacking proper experience with friends at that time, I told a couple of friends about the screen caps I took in the chat and joked about them, and it became an in-joke with one friend to accuse the other of liking the character.

I got over the show mostly, and I think they've almost forgotten I ever liked it (a friend in a different group still knows I watched 'blueberry', as he called it, but he likes MLP so its cool), but it will be really awkward if they ever learn that I later became a furry and fap to that same character regularly.

>>388131
>>388129
I feel the same way about women.

I feel the same way about men.
It's definitely why I'm growing towards being only sexually interested in women.

>>388138
I like it when I get intimidated by girls though, even if it feels horrible at the time the erection is still there. So... still straight.

>>388141
I get that, for me they then get disinterested when I turn it up to meet on that level, dang it don't back down now, I've just got revved up. I really would love a nice rumble, come out with a few bruises showing I gave it my all.

>>388138
>It's definitely why I'm growing towards being only sexually interested in women
Were you bisexual to begin with?

>>388129
I'm a bit like this towards mentally disabled people. In my adult life, I've been put in a number of situations with them, work-related and otherwise, and a large amount of them have greeted me with hostility in the form of racism, religious bigotry, and I was repeatedly sexually harassed by one of them. I reported her behavior, but the supervisors were unwilling to do anything about it.
I don't hate them, and I certainly don't condone any negative treatment of them, but I confess that I do become uneasy around them.

>tooth is gay
Why does this keep happening? This is like the sixth girl I've had a crush on in a row.

>>388145
Net crushing tis serious business Would stretch this joke out further at my expense but, they don't come around here no more so it wouldn't catch

>>388141
Actually on a related subject the fun side effect of it is me discovering/embracing my domme side which I'm loving.

>>388144
Yup. Well, pansexual or w/e you want to call it. It could end up swinging back around to 'regular' eventually I guess.

>>388147
Ultimate Evolution Sista

I think I might be developing genuine pedophilic urges. Kind of a bummer.

>>388147
I've been told that plenty of girls, especially in the bi-lesbian scene, are into the whole dom-sub thing. You'd probably get casual sex on demand if you went to a lesbian bar.

>>388154
Meh, not exactly rare, there are whole economies based on this. Although I'm gonna have to ask you to kindly fuck yourself if you ever even think of acting on the urge.

>>388154
I thought that for a while but it wasn't. Try to change your porn habits (ie. reduce if you fap a lot). It may be acquired or hardwired, and if its acquired you can stop it if you do it right. (A good clue is your age and porn habits)

I'm a habitual liar, incredibly lazy, a horrible memory, have negative self-confidence and hypocritical to a fault.

>>388182
High-five.

I'm dead.

>>388182
You'll fit right in.

I'm in my mid twenties, and I've wet the bed a couple times recently. I had those dreams that I was peeing, and peed irl. These dreams aren't that uncommon for me, but before these incidents, I haven't wet myself because of one since I was very young. Currently trying to pinpoint possible causes, and hoping this doesn't become a regular thing.

>>388205
is it after drinking alcohol? or are you constipated? there's a lot of different things that can cause it, if it's never happened before then it's probably something you can change

i know a guy who wets the bed because he gets too fucking wasted and passes out but lyou just have to ask his drunk ass if he needs to go to the bathroom 'no' 'are you sure'

>>388205
actually loled.

Sorry though.

>>388186
R-right b-back at yea'.

>>388200
I've been lurking since summer '07 or '08 (was plus4chan even around at point?) and noticed just that. But I couldn't bring myself to 'blog' or say anything personal about my self until this thread returned.

[spoiler]I'm in spades with bea. bea is such a stupid dunkass, goddamn. 9/10, would hatefuck.

>>388210

Despite all the bad things associated with marriage, I still want to get married some day.

Me too.

I think the vast majority of problems that occur with marriages come about because

1) People who get married aren't mature enough to do so
2) People get married for the wrong reasons
3) People have this romanticized ideal of what marriage is supposed to be

This is just me theorizing, though.

I hate that being rich, white, and male means suddenly none of my feelings of self-frustration, of inadequacy and uncomfortability with my lack of dependable friends actually matter, because they all stem from 'first world problems' or told to shut up at every turn by my peers. It sometimes makes me feel angry, but more it just digs at me that I can't be the unflappable person people expect me to be for all those traits.

Yes, I'm well aware I'm more better off than starving kids in Africa, and yes they're just a guild on World of Warcraft, but they're still good guildies and I still want to impress them and be part of their group and getting treated like an outcast because I don't just know everything or some small things were unknown before someone pointed them out, and I can't ask them to not call me a shitter or a faggot or a sperglord for it or it'll just keep going.

I hate that it's the same with every social group I know, everyone's throwing around shit and chewing out anything new, and I can't fit in anywhere despite trying. I know I'm not as good as other people but I still wish trying to learn wasn't treated with an equal level of dickery for not being super-aware or following the same blind channels they did.

I hate that sometimes I'll say things because I think it's all in fun but I end up pushing the wrong buttons and fucking everything up, and I hate that it keeps happening every so many months. I can't socialize for shit and then my parents get mad that I don't constantly go, when I just want to be alone until I'm ready to try again on my time. And I hate that the only people that want to hear any of this just want money for the job, and the last person I had for this just bailed on me the minute her shit got in order. Or maybe I scared her off. I don't know.

I want to be someone else. I want to not be me, because I despise me. I'm fat, I have dumb ideas, every 'great thing' I've done was because someone just forced me to do it, and I never get anything done because I'm scared of the future and my head and my place in this world, and it just makes me want to scream and scream until I'm sobbing which I do anyway. I wish I was dead all the time because maybe it'd be less exhausting and scary than thinking about now. But I'm too scared to just do anything there either.

And I hate that I have to take off my name because my history proceeds me and it'd just bog down everything here.

>>388231
>I hate that being rich, white, and male means suddenly none of my feelings of self-frustration, of inadequacy and uncomfortability with my lack of dependable friends actually matter

Stopped reading right there. Barely anyone believes this or even thinks this.

>>388232
Could have fooled me. I talk about this, and it's always 'well don't you see how well off you are? stop feeling so down and think about the positives' with my parents or 'lol quit being a fag' online.

>>388233

Well--

>And I hate that I have to take off my name because my history proceeds me and it'd just bog down everything here.

Oh, Lord, is this Candlejack?

>>388233
"Think about the things that are good in your life instead of the bad" is valid advice. "First world problems" most likely suggests you were wording something in a way that made it sound whiny and dumb instead of like a sympathetic complaint.

For example, rather than "I have concerns about the reliability of my friends," did you word it as "my friends bought the XBONE instead of the PS4 even after I explained to them why PS4 was better. Why must my life be filled with so much suffering?"

>>388235
Pretty much this.

I've had times where I've had serious family issues going on, and I hear someone complain about something dumb like how they aren't getting along with their roommate, and I just sigh and shake my head.

If someone drops "first world problems" on you, there's a good chance you're making a mountain out of a molehill. If you want to feel bad, go right ahead. You should, because we have emotions. But there is a point at which you need to step back and realize things if you have it good. Because if you have it good and things are still bothering you, I'd hazard a guess that you're suffering from depression, and probably need to go talk to a doctor or something.

>>388235
How about this?

I wish I had more forgiving social circles, and I had more courage to speak up and challenge people who give me crap because I honestly don't like it, but I'm afraid that I can't prove to them I am trying to get better at the things we do and they'd see it as whining. I can't say what I want to say, so I often say nothing at all and that feels nauseating to do because there's so much I want to say.

I know I have all these things others don't, but all they do is just keep me focused on how my emotional concerns feel drowned out with 'but you did X, and you went to Y school! Be proud!' Well, I can't know what it's like to not have those be things that happened, so all I'm left with is the feeling that no one has the answer to what is bothering me here and now, or worse wants me to feel bad for them instead because of my gifts. And when I'm upset, all I have to focus on is race status and first world stuff.

I wish I could just speak, just say whatever was in my head, and people would understand what the problem really was. It's irritating that we all have so many filters that I have to reevaluate what I mean, so it gets through to people.

Is that better?

>>388237
I've learned to be over time, everyone has shit opinions about something or another but basically people are good people. If people weren't flawed, what would be the point in taking an interest.

>>388231
I hate that being poor, white, and male means I get treated like a spoiled rich jerk like you. Because obviously all white men are privileged, rich and powerful.

>>388234
>Oh, Lord, is this Candlejack?
Nah, probs Spreeses.

>>388242
>I hate that being poor, white, and male means I get treated like a spoiled rich jerk like you.

Does anyone actually do this? Note that tumblr doesn't count, nor does being told you're privileged (which extends to far more than just money or race or whatever)

>>388231
[specific to online examples only]

why would the people of the group you're trying to interact with even know that you're rich, white, and male?
the latter two are frequently implicitly assumed, but if they know you're rich then you must have told them about it; why? was it relevant to anything? did they have to know? maybe you were just being an attention whore?

if you're not seeing what I'm doing here then you are truly blind

>>388231
jesus christ. i really hope people understand that you all people have legitimate problems and real experiences that should be acknowledged.... but that seems to be the case.

discounting anyone else's experiences because of your own is how a lot of the discrimination in the other direction happens in the first place.

what needs to happen to fix this is for everyone. everyone. everyone to feel safe talking about their own experiences and not be discounted so long as they can listen to other people's experiences.

>>388254
my typing is full of fuck

sorry. basically, victims aren't always easy to deal with, regardless of if their victimization was real or imagined. the only way to fix that is to get people to step up and step out of the victim/perpetrator narratives EVEN if that's what we have and work TOGETHER.

but that's hard. and i sympathize with all sides. it blows. i'm sorry you have to deal with any assholes. especially people who assume you must have it great on the other side.

>>388250
>Does anyone actually do this?
>proceeds to tell me I'm privileged
Answered your own question boyo.

>>388263

Being told you're privileged and being treated like a spoiled jerk are two entirely different things.

>>388210

barf

>>388210
>>388269

holy shit i can cut it with a knife just fuck already

I keep getting crushes on the girls in Plus4chan, and I don't know if I'm just desperate for contact with the opposite sex, or the girls I know IRL in college are as terribly dull as I think they are.

Maybe it's both.

>>388272
girls are so gross why would you ever

especially here what the fuck

I would never even

>>388273
pablo why

>>388274
my life is a radiohead song

>>388272
ain't that the thing, people just seem to be more like actual people here I'd guess.

>>388274

i still love you tooth

>>388276

Do we really? I suppose in a way. This place is still weird. Not to say that people are normal (they aren't) but...I don't know anymore.

>>388276
i've found that most people tend to be people but okay

>>388278
just saying aside from the odd bits on /co/ folks are just a bit more open with things least on /baw/

>>388231
>I hate that being rich, white, and male means suddenly none of my feelings of self-frustration, of inadequacy and uncomfortability with my lack of dependable friends actually matter,
Everyone's problems are unique to them. Just because you're not a rocket scientist does not mean your problems are not difficult on their own, especially as they are relative to your life and your ability.

That said, 2 observations:
1) The qualifyer of "rich, white, male" is usually only presented when white people try to justify inequalities with examples of their own that generally pale in comparison to the amounts of racial inequality in America. It may be wise to examine some of your assumptions about that inequality. This topic is one of those conversation killers that white people seem to stumble over. You have problems, yeah, but the inequalities of the system are much greater if you are not white. Most folks don't want to hear about your problems, because your problems are not theirs. Your problems should be addressed, but appreciate that you will have to be the one to address them, and that most people don't like hearing about other peoples' problems unless it's a problem they fix for money. But trying to compare your problems to being basically profiled by police all day every day is not an argument you can win. It may not make you comfortable but I wouldn't try and defend yourself or make arguments that you don't get a better deal. You do. Whining about it will not get you friends.
2)Lack of dependable friends may be an aspect of your social ability but it may also be an aspect of those friends. WoW players can be a very particular kind of humanity. If you are lacking in player ability, I would suggest studying up. Certain disabilities can be countered with knowledge. However I would also be mindful that these people are not very flawed people themselves. Just because somebody is good at something does not make them a good person. If everyone is *always* a faggot and shitlord to this person or persons, I might reconsider being their friends.

>I hate that it's the same with every social group I know, everyone's throwing around shit and chewing out anything new, and I can't fit in anywhere despite trying. I know I'm not as good as other people but I still wish trying to learn wasn't treated with an equal level of dickery for not being super-aware or following the same blind channels they did.
>I hate that sometimes I'll say things because I think it's all in fun but I end up pushing the wrong buttons and fucking everything up, and I hate that it keeps happening every so many months. I can't socialize for shit and then my parents get mad that I don't constantly go, when I just want to be alone until I'm ready to try again on my time. And I hate that the only people that want to hear any of this just want money for the job, and the last person I had for this just bailed on me the minute her shit got in order. Or maybe I scared her off. I don't know.

Social mores can be difficult to learn, especially if you spend most of your time online where the social rules are much more important than real life. That said, I'd pay attention to those topics or jokes that really crash the conversation. Sometimes it's because the joke was uncomfortable to a specific person, sometimes it's because you dropped an opinion on a subject that marks you as ignorant and because of that ignorance, dangerous, re:racism and sexism. This doesn't mean that you have to "hide" your opinions, but rather you should examine them, and ruminate on why they are offensive. You make friends by understanding, not by offhand rejection. And again, if all they do forever is shit on other things, maybe consider getting new friends. On the internet, it's a bit different. Most people come online to vent or to wind down. A higher degree of shitting on things is accepted, but if it's 100% shit all day e'er day, do consider that they may have emotional issues.

If you want to change your life, that's up to you, but it can be useful to understand how other people live their lives first. It sucks about the therapist but she has her own life to live, dig? Everyone can only help you so much before you have to pull your end of the weight.

>>388278
Some people are more people than others.

>>388312
Haha you replied to it!

>>388324
>Haha you replied to it!

I could say the same about the rest of you mutants

>rich
>CandleJack

Ahahaha! HAhaha!

Wait for it.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

>>388212
Is she jerking off an invisible dick? I don't get it.

>>388410
????????
she's pantomiming wiping tears away in a sarcastic manner, i'm pretty sure
basically the cute pop star version of "poor baby, cry more"

>>388415

Yeah, I'm not sure where you got the idea that it was an invisible dick.

>>388416
A lot of porn have dicks close to faces, with hands jerking them.

>>388421
Well, she's doing a bad job, I can say that much.

>>388423
god, you're charming.

is there any way you can follow me even less on tumblr, because that would be great.

>>388425
Can you be a little more of an easily offended princess?

>>388426
no.

>>388427
I had sex with your plush toys. All of them. Even Thomas.

>>388441
I still need to get my old camel restuffed

>>388445
Be happy to stuff it for you, if you want.

>>388421
that's kind of weird motion to use on a dick though. i wouldn't try that technique unless it was specifically requested. however, every penis is different, and every penis has its own needs, wants, and desires. some of them don't even want handjobs, some of them only want a mouth, and perhaps some of them want some weird side-to-side wringing.

>>388496
You are oddly knowledgeable about the wants and needs of penises. You wouldn't happen to be one yourself?

>>388503
She's the most knowledgeable lesbian on here when it comes to penises, after to Dr. Sivana.